On the Edge

I've continued to visit the bathroom more than usual each day, I feel more fatigued than normal (fell asleep on the couch tonight at nine), and my breasts are sore.  I'm going to test tomorrow, five days early.  The wait is making me crazy.  At least there's a chance of a positive result, as opposed to waiting and not knowing.  Even if it's negative, I'll test every other day until I get visual confirmation of such.

As much as I hate not knowing, I also don't want to be disappointed.  Although I know that's a big possibility.  But technically I shouldn't expect disappointment because I'm supposed to have hope and faith in God to answer our prayers.  Do you see how confusing this is?

I feel I've lived through enough heartbreak and disappointment to know not to only and always expect good things from God.  He is sovereign, and He answers a lot of my prayers with, "no".  I have faith that God's will will be done, but that doesn't mean it's going to be my will, too.

Here's to all things new come morning.  Possibly.