Wanderings

I wish I had a pregnancy test to take, but I know I wouldn't trust the results either way.  I had what I thought (still think?) could have been implantation bleeding, but it's gone from being brown Sunday night to Tuesday night, to a larger amount of pink, and back to almost nothing.  I've read that implantation bleeding doesn't take more than two days.  Since it's been three now, my hope is fading.

Jared is in Florida this week.  We vacationed in Charleston last Thursday-Sunday, which was so needed and so fun.  Got home Sunday night, and mid-Monday, he was driving to Orlando for a worship conference.  He's the sales rep for Kinetic Church, the church we belonged to when we lived in Charlotte.  Jared should be back Saturday night, and I'm staying with my family until then.  But there's not much to do, and I wind up with way too much time to ponder over my miscarriage, my job, my bills...it's not healthy.  I find myself feeling very "down". 

Jared has been feeling down, too.  I didn't realize it, but he seems to have held everything inside of him while I was healing emotionally after the miscarriage.  After he felt I was better, that's when he told me he felt depressed, and angry at God.  I wish I had seen it and been able to help him.  But I am trying to support and encourage him now, and helping him seek out others that he can talk with.  I hope things are getting better for him now, too.