Jared's process of grief has been much slower than mine. Once we found out, I was numb for 1-2 hours and then unable to function in society for the rest of that day and the next. I took that time to be in denial, to be angry at God, to be inconsolably weepy, and then to receive comfort from friends, family and eventually, God. That week got a little better, a little easier to go on, each day.
At this point, 5 weeks to the day after we found out about the miscarriage, I feel fully functional and at peace. I feel like I have gained closure and that my relationship with God and Jared have been stretched, but both have grown stronger. Every once in a while, I will see something or remember something and a wave of grief will come over me and I cry. I can't wait to stop bleeding from the D&C, to get my period, and then to start working on getting pregnant again. But at the same time, I am apprehensive about getting pregnant again--I won't ever be able to fully enjoy pregnancy again, because I'll be worried if something is going to go wrong.
Jared is, just now, angry at God and feeling distant from Him. He feels despair and great sadness, and has close to zero desire to start working to get pregnant again. As there is No Normal in the grief process, I support him in wherever he happens to be and however long it takes him to work through things. I've encouraged him to read in his Bible individually, tell God how he feels, and talk to some of the husbands who've been part of a miscarriage. Obviously, I can't make it better for him, but what I hope is to just be a helper for him, a comfort and a friend who can make this just a little more bearable.
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