I should try to get away from only posting on Sundays. I haven't bled for fifteen days now. If things are going to be normal from now on, I would expect to start bleeding again by August 20th. It's hard to wait that out, because I'm not sure how much faith I can muster that God will allow my cycles to be normal. He hasn't given me a break yet.
He could've let us have our child, but I miscarried. He could've let the miscarriage be natural, but I needed pills. He could've let the pills work, but I needed a D&C. He could've let the D&C be complete and the bleeding stop after 2-3 weeks, but I bled for 9 weeks.
So here we are at the next "opportunity" for God to show me He is going to start blessing me again, instead of giving me pain. But if, every time you met a certain person, they struck you in the face, what would you start to expect from them after a while? I want to believe that God is turning His face back to me and will start blessing me again. But I can't bring myself to wholly expect it, because I have gone through so, so many dark things in the last three months.
No comments:
Post a Comment