In the past, even-numbered years have been better to me than odd-numbered ones. This year threw me for a loop, though. Losing Angel was the most traumatic event that Jared or I have ever experienced. The three full months it took for me to heal nearly broke me.
There were blessings, though. Jared got a great job, and I kept a job, we've lived for a year in our own home, we have a closer relationship, and are almost 15 weeks along with our second child. My relationship with God has recovered, but it will never be the same as it was before my miscarriage. I trust God...but I trust Him more like I trust Jared. I know Jared loves me, and I know Jared's not "out to get me", but he's still capable of hurting me in incredibly deep ways, and I know at some points in our lives, he WILL hurt me, either purposefully or not.
I'm hopeful that 2013 will surprise me with how wonderful it will be. My hopes for the year are that Jared will be shown great favor in his job and be given a raise, and that I will be able to finish out the school year at my job and keep my health insurance long enough to be covered during labor and delivery. I pray for health and safety for Peanut, with a positive labor and delivery experience at the Birth Center. I hope that we will get some home improvement projects finished, such as paving the second driveway lane, taking down two pine trees, and sanding/sealing the deck. I'd like to travel to Alabama and see my Mimi. I'd like to take a vacation of some sort--the beach sounds nice right now.
Less than two hours until a new year starts, and both Jared and the dog are fast asleep. We are such boring people! :)
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